I’ve had one or two complaints about my recent posts, along the lines of “Too Long; Didn’t Read”. Talk about the Twitter Generation… I don’t know why I bother sometimes. You peasants should be grateful I’m communicating with you in the first place.
Sorry, that probably came over as unnecessarily feudal. I’m a little grumpy today because last night’s experiment with Gödelian logic emitters didn’t go too well, and now I have a lot of cleaning up to do.
To explain: I’m currently attempting to find a way to suppress ‘fake news’. After all, we don’t want just anybody pumping the internet full of their propaganda, do we? It’s only my own propaganda that should be allowed. And even then, only during an election for the next Supreme Leader of Earth.
So I’m trying to construct something I thought up a few years ago, called an Anti-assertive Spike Damper Field (and no, I didn’t choose that just because it’s easy to type the initials — do I look shallow to you?). This works by collating online posts from around the world and doing a multidimensional fourier analysis to find the trends. I then remove the low-level noise with a semantic gate, invert the graph, re-apply the transform to get a signal that’s in phase with the original and mix the result back into the web through the clandestine backbone I installed in 2009.
Well at least, that’s the theory. What should happen is that it should counteract the disinformation in real time, resulting in an optimal Fact Spectrum with no extreme peaks. Unfortunately, I discovered that I’d misaligned the Venn exclusivity parameter on the Gödelian logic emitter, and all the statements that were demonstrably either true or false got dropped during factorisation.
The result is that today the internet is full of bland, contradictory statements that are utterly unverifiable.
Oh, you didn’t notice? Ah. Well that’s a relief then. As you were!
